Thursday, January 2, 2014

Another Year Older

Over the years what our birthdays mean to us seems to change. When we are young we are all excited. Then we start getting older, and another birthday is a reminder that we aren't as indestructible as we once thought. Then the years come where you are just ecstatic to make another year.

I am writing this the morning of my 39th birthday before everyone gets up and I have to head to work. The reality is that it still feels weird celebrating my birthday after losing my Dad on the same day in 2009.

The funnier thing is that I never have really thought about it feeling weird until a colleague at work asked me this week what it was like for me to want to celebrate my birthday while remembering it was the day I lost my Dad.

Well on one side I am still reflective and sad somewhat today, but then I think how pissed my Dad would be at me using him as an excuse not to be happy to be alive.  Then I also realize how sad it has to be for the rest of my family especially my Mom, but then you see how excited my wife and girls are to help me celebrate. Really how can anyone be sad when your kids are so happy for you. Even if all of the flip flopping gives me motion sickness the reality is that I am blessed to be here still with my family. I still have the chance to screw up, but I also still have the chance to do some good in this world.

 So I am choosing to do my best to not dwell on the years that I am missing with him, but instead focus on the years that I did have with him. Many kids never even had the chance to have years with their Dad, and I had 34 great ones.

I am also going to choose to really notice the blessings and the time that God is giving me to do the best I can with this life. Every day is a gift and we all take that for granted somewhat, but every day you get to wake up is a day you get to make a difference.

Here are a few pics that the great Kayla Hartzog took of those that remind me daily of how I have been blessed.